Aaron's Self-Reflection
When Aaron's sons (Nadab and Abihu) disobeyed God and burnt strange fire to the Lord, God sent a fire that "devoured" Aaron's sons and "killed them" (Leviticus 10:1-2). On the same day, when it was time to fulfill the law—that priests should eat the burnt sin offering—Aaron and his surviving sons (Eleazar and Ithamar) did not eat it. Moses was upset and confronted Aaron. But Aaron said, "Look, this day have they offered their sin offering and their burnt offering before the Lord; and such things have befallen me: and if I had eaten the sin offering today, should it have been accepted in the sight of the Lord" (Leviticus 10:19-20)? Aaron's reason for his sons not eating the burnt sin offering was because of what happened earlier that day.
Some people say that Aaron did not want to have the feast of the burnt sin offering in an uncheerful manner. Others claim Aaron was humbled so much that he did not see himself as holy enough—even though the priest of God. We cannot be certain of the exact reasoning behind Aaron's decision here. But regardless of why Aaron refrains from eating the burnt sin offering, we see something clearly: Aaron has self-reflection.
Aaron does not accept the day's current events that relate to him so closely without looking at himself and his family. He has self-reflection and considers how he is seen by God in the face of everything that happened that day. He decided that whatever he did for God, it would not have been accepted by Him.
If I am honest, in a moment of self-reflection, I am not worthy of writing these very words about God. Regarding the sin in my life (past and future), I am unworthy of embarking on a discourse of theology. On my merits alone, these very words that I write on this page are not acceptable to God because of my sin—my unclean lips (Isaiah 6:5). However, Jesus Christ makes these very words acceptable and clean. Guilt and shame do not haunt my soul. My acceptance does not come from my relation to sin but Jesus's victory over sin and death.
Still, this victory over sin does not give me the liberty to sin (Galatians 5:13). And times exist when we need to take time out to self-reflect and understand our humble place before God. For instance, relating to the sin of the world can humble us to the point of praying for "our" sins as a nation, a society, and humanity. Yet we can be sure that despite sin and our connection with it, when we have Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, through Him, we overcome sin and the world (1 Corinthians 15:55-57; 2 Corinthians 5:21; John 16:33). Jesus is our righteousness that excuses us from our unworthiness.
Truth and Self-Reflection
In Mark 12, we read a parable by Jesus. Jesus talks about a man who "plants a vineyard," "sets a hedge about the vineyard," digs a place for the winefat (a place to collect juice from pressed grapes)," "builds a tower," and "lets it out to husbandmen (people to take care of the vineyard)." The end of this parable shows us that the husbandmen are evil because they reject the commandments of their lord and kill the son of their lord. Therefore, because of their rejection and murder, the parable tells us that the Lord will destroy these wicked husbandmen.
The reason the lord of the vineyard destroys the husbandmen should be clear—they are murderous and disobedient servants. These husbandmen, nonetheless, represent those who oppose God's lordship and "kill" his son. Now, I put the word kill in quotation marks because people today do not physically kill Jesus, the Son of God. However, people "kill" Jesus every time they sin. We have to remember, it is our sin that put Jesus on the cross (Hebrews 6:6). In this sense, through our personal sin, we all have had an evil part in killing Jesus. This is why we hear, many times, that our sins are the "nails" that nailed Jesus to the cross. Thus, we are not that different from the husbandmen, though thousands of years separate us from this story. Today we have hope if we accept the lordship of Jesus Christ.
Scripture says, "This was the Lord's doing. And it is marvelous in our sight" (Psalm 118:22-23). When people heard Jesus tell them this parable, some wanted to kill him because "they knew that he had spoken the parable against them" (Mark 12:12). I believe this is the wrong response people had and can have today regarding this parable. As aforementioned, this parable can symbolize our present condition. But such a present condition doesn't define who we choose to be in the future. By that, I mean people can respond in different ways to this charge expressed by Jesus "against" us. We can respond like the people in Jesus's time who wanted to take him and kill him—getting upset and working to destroy the foundations of Christianity. Or, contrarily, we can respond with a sense of self-reflection—accepting the hard truth about our role in "killing" the son of God (Indeed, we should not exclude ourselves from this role and erroneously blame only past murderers). It is when we accept our murderous role that we can begin to see correctly "the Lord's doing" and the "marvelousness" of the matter.
To be sure, one can respond to this hard truth with indifference and nonchalance. That kind of response, however, dismisses one's role altogether and attempts to remove the self from the crime, which mirrors the husbandmen in the parable who wanted to claim the inheritance of their lord as their own. Likewise, one can claim to be in charge of their God-given life. Nevertheless, the correct response appears to be one of self-reflection: accepting my role in the death of Jesus. But instead of getting upset, I should look deep inside (instead of outward) for ways the Lord can work of salvation in me. This "work" is nothing fancy; it is simply believing that Jesus is the Son of God and that he rose from the dead to give us the opportunity of eternal salvation (John 6:29). And I should come to the realization, through a process of understanding, how this salvation is marvelous.